Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
