forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
