I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
