listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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