i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
