Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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