Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
