Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
