when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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