Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
