I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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