I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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