She said her name was "party"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
