Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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