So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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