i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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