idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
