first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
