He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
