OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
