the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
