I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
