FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
No subtext here. People are naked.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
