and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
