Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
In other news, I just burned my penis
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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