bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
