Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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