I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
