Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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