The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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