There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
