got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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