Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
