Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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