what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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