Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
