david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
