she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
