throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
