I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
