Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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