so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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