All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Vodka?
Forever.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
