I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize