I could have mohawked her pubes.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
