Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
