I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
