would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
there is glitter all over my balls
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