Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
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