I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
