I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
