; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
there is glitter all over my balls
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
