so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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