Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
