I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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