Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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