If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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