I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I didn't shave. On purpose
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
